It's a cracker
Christmas crackers were invented in Britain in 1847. They are now a traditional sight on our tables on Christmas Day, and are infamous for useless ‘gifts’ and bad jokes that everyone's heard before - just like these!
Why was the turkey in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drum-sticks!
What's Tarzan's favourite Christmas song?
Jungle Bells!
What happens to you at Christmas?
Yule be happy!
What do you get if you hang from Father Christmas' roof?
Tired arms!
What did the fireman's wife get for
Christmas?
A ladder in her stocking!
What was the tortoise doing on the motorway?
About 1 mph.
What do you call a man wearing ear-muffs?
Anything you like - he can't hear you!
Did you hear about the stupid turkey?
It was looking forward to Christmas!
What are small, brown and creep around the house?
Mince spies!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!
What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas ?
Cross mouse cards!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas ?
A Merry Christmas to ewe!
